Poor Little Rich Girl (From Haringey Independent)

Poor Little Rich Girl

2:40pm Friday 26th October 2007

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Forget Forbes.

There's only one rich list you need to know about and I'm on it. I'm not just rich. I'm filthy, stinking, bathed-in golden-light-from-the-gods rich!

Out of the world's estimated population of six billion, on the Global Rich List I'm number 480,945,633 - that's the top 8 per cent, darlings. Try not to be too jealous.

But like coming second place in a beauty contest of two competitors, it's a hollow victory. I'm only getting a look in because the majority of the world is living in poverty.

Thus, my initial euphoria was promptly killed off by the thought that I'm not brutally trouncing the friends on Facebook whose careers seem to know no boundaries, highlighted in status updates for all to see, but starving people in the third world. I'm officially pathetic. The desired effect of website www.globalrichlist.com, methinks.

A more even playing field was needed and, in an effort to scrape some self respect, I took my chances on the UK Rich List and, to my surprise, found myself still nearer the top than the bottom. The website clearly had no access to my credit file which features obscene levels of debt bested only by those countries making minimum payments to the World Bank.

Needless to say, it's probably best I pay less heed to the food porn adverts of M&S and opt for something a little more my speed, like Morrisons. Or Lidl, if taking my last mini-statement into consideration.

Conclusion: I'm not just poor. I'm buy now, pay later, shameless victim of advertising, struggling journalist poor.

But at least I know where my next meal is coming from, even if the nutrional information is in some foreign script, and shockingly so few of us can say that.

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