Families - Haringey Independent

Advice on how to help your twins to develop their sense of individuality.

All twins are individuals, but because they were born as a unit of two, they need some extra help to allow them to develop their own sense of themselves as individuals. This can be particularly difficult for identical twins.

Parents can start to encourage individuality right from the beginning of twins’ lives  by following this advice from the Multiple Births Foundation: 

• Don’t give twins names that sound alike or have the same initials.
• Don’t dress them in the same clothes.
• Don’t call them ‘the twins’.
• Give your twins as much separate one-to-one time as possible.
• Give each child a space to call their own.
• Encourage other people to understand that twins are not inseparable.
• Give your twins the chance to develop separate interests and hobbies and, as they get older, different after school activities and groups of friends.
• Appreciate the qualities and strengths of each twin.

Both the Twins and Multiple Births Association (TAMBA) and the Multiple Births Foundation have further information on helping to encourage individuality. TAMBA members can download an Enhancing Individuality leaflet. The Multiple Births Foundations sells the booklet Individuality in Twins – a painful quest? (£3) via its website.